Being home with Calvin and Kelly has been fantastic!!!The first few days Kelly's mom was here and was incredibly supportive -- she helped with chores, took Calvin when we were most tiered and passed on some of her mothering wisdom to us. Then, like most good things, she had to go home and we all piled in the car for our fist outing... ...to say goodbye to grammy!
We raced to get to the airport bus (keeping to the speed limit IS racing when you have a new born in the car) and made it just in the nick of time. As we parted ways there was tears in all of our eyes. It had been an amazing visit and I saw Kelly and Deb's relationship blossom in the process. On top of that Deb leaving represented the distance we are from both of our families: Illinois, New Zealand and England are all a long way a way... ...some pretty long arms would be needed to hold and comfort our little one and that doesn't seem to be a gene we have (long toes maybe -- aka: Calvin and Kelly).
Kelly and I have since been learning how to do this parenting thing! Learning how to comfort Calvin; keep diapers and the house clean; fit sleep in; and make sure we don't lose each other
in the process. Calvin for his part is learning about this whole outside world thing -- who are these crazy people and why can't I be held all the time?!?
Successes:
3 good nights sleep, feeding, great support, snuggling, keeping the house in order and sling time!
Failures:
3 horrific nights sleep, Calvin's first bath and tummy time on the rug!
We've had lots of great support from our midwife, our friends (who have brought round meals every night this week and from an Ayurvedic Doula (Indian diet expert who doubles as a masseur.. ....mmmm).
The thing about Calvin is he's just too dam cute and Kelly has taken on new layers to me with the power she showed during birth and the compassion she has as a mother. To quote Kelly from the email she sent announcing Calvin:
"We're all doing well and spending a lot of time hibernating and staring at one another and falling in love over and over again".
And with that in mind I'm going to stop writing and spend some time with my family!
lovin the blog toby... such a great way to chronicle this time & the ups and downs of being a first time dad! cant wait to give you guys a big hug!
ReplyDeleteWow! Powerful writing skills Toby...as evidenced by the soggy pile of Kleenex I have accumulated while reading your blog. Felt like I was there with you every step of the way. Thanks for sharing this with us. Glad you are all doing well. Give my love to Kelly and Calvin, and also to you, of course.
ReplyDeleteSteve
Wow – There is a wonderful aura of trauma, contentment, sincerety, devotion, compassion, empathy and love in this blog. I feel (as Toby’s father) that we were never quite so open or demonstrative when Toby arrived into this world (In fact lost all childhood photographs for a long period of time!). Nevertheless all these emotions were/are all there Toby - if you are ever in any doubt!
ReplyDeleteThink you have found in Kelly that very special person and ideal match. This has been evident from the start and I know it will always stay the same (but needs work!). We all need that special person and I have been very lucky also to have found this in your mum….
Regarding being a grandfather I had severe uncertainties but reading this blog and having swallowed very hard every time I scrolled down to suppress my emotion overflowing I am beginning to come to terms with it all. I am sure that grandfathers need not be old codgers and am about to embark on a mission to change the perceived definition of grandparenthood. Watch this space and beware of the next move.
Meanwhile keep up the good work – Calvin on Skype is great but we need to use all the other senses and look forward to being able to feel and (possibly) smell!
Rock on….